PLAN SHOPPING

In 1960 The Miracles wrote the song Shop Around. Its primarily about a long line of teaching that women need to find the best bargain with a man.

Shopping is a good thing. Its smart to look for the best deal. The definition of a deal varies greatly with reasons both real and fake, but its still good to shop for it. For all practical purposes, shopping can be called sport to some.

Of course if it truly is a sport, then it has a high female participation, similar to that of the wild - where the lioness does the majority of the hunting. And I'm sure there is a male reciprocal where a guy walks in the door - knows exactly what he wants - picks it up - pays for it, and goes home. Don't talk to him. Don't flash new items in his face. He has one purpose, and it is not to be distracted.

But, because of its hunter-gatherer mentality, shopping is quite impersonal. It needs to stay on this animate to inanimate relationship. Because of the recent tendency for it not to, there seems to be a new sport emerging that I like to call Plan Shopping. I understand that a plan is somewhat of an inanimate object, but this contract directly relates to both parties within. It is a form of shopping that is very personal. Participation includes boys and girls of all ages, and Its inclusion is growing quite rapidly. Contrarily, its popularity is remaining very low on all polls. The purpose of plan shopping seems to be the same as any other form of shopping. It has the usual get-the-best-deal-possible-because-I-want-to-look-out-for-me-because-I'm-number-one mentality. This mentality is terrible because it objectifies friends and family.

I expect that the typical plan shopping conversation plays to the tune of:

A) "What are you doing tonight?"

B) "Nothing much, not sure yet, why? what's up?"

A) "Just calling to see what you were doing... Wanna hang later?"

B) " ...Oh, well I do have to do this thing with these guys.. I'm not sure yet. I'll call you later if I'm free "

What? "Nothing Much" evolved into "Kinda Something" within seconds. This conversation tells me, "Well.., you were in the running for my priority, that's why I heard you out, but you didn't have a strong enough offer, so you didn't make the cut. Sorry. I'll just keep my options open."

We all plan shop one way or another, but why do we do it? We all know that it has put us in a sticky situation in the past by hurting our friends or making us feel over booked. Still, why do we continue to play this sport if we know that its so passively violent?

There are other ways to plan shop without directly shopping. See conversation 2:

A) "Do you have plans for the evening?"

B) "None that I know of."

None that you know of!? If you don't remember them, then they aren't very important. When you blow me off for them later I will feel devastated. It makes me feel like your presence is in high demand, or you are heavily sponsored. Obviously you are contractually obligated to make appearances, and your assistant keeps your schedule. I understand that you haven't talked to said assistant yet today. It makes sense now that you don't know of any plans yet. That's life, I guess. Congratulations on your success.

All joking aside, it seems that the cost of admission into the sport of plan shopping is our own personal integrity. Lets keep the bargain hunting out of our social life. My momma told me that I better shop around, but I suggest we retire and keep our word as our bond.