Williams, Ben 1:08 PM
Remember how we talked about the attributes of a fart? And how I compared it to a build-a-character type feature on a video game?
Lewis, Jon 1:09 PM
mmm
Williams, Ben 1:10 PM
I only have room for 4 attributes, so i've chosen Duration, Odor, Noise, and Moisture.
so if you have 100% to use in a 400% chart, then all attributes will be equal or one will be loaded. hense the silent but deadly ghost fart
Lewis, Jon 1:12 PM
mmm
aern't duration and noise directly related?
aren't
Williams, Ben 1:13 PM
no, I can fart right now and it could be 1 second long and you might hear it... you might not
Lewis, Jon 1:13 PM
well, unless you counted how long your rosebud was flexing during a silent one
right
what you said
Williams, Ben 1:16 PM
so.. by flexing, sphincter boy, you are effectively calling an audibule right before the snap and you're turning down the volume, hense strengthening the duration and odor.
Lewis, Jon 1:16 PM
im
i'm still not sur ei'm on board with the duration, and moisture
those are two elements that can't be measured from an outside source
Williams, Ben 1:17 PM
duration can be measured by a time keeper.
moisture, i can see you're argument
Lewis, Jon 1:18 PM
yes, but only if it's audible. otherwise, you'd have to be like "ok...go!" and then "stop"
i feel like taking the human element out of the measurment will make the overall resulting fart data more scientific and concrete
Williams, Ben 1:19 PM
but simple physics states that the same force behind a fluid (in this case, movement of air) will produce a greater velocity when passing thru a smaller diameter
Lewis, Jon 1:20 PM
i propose a "flexomoter" invention that takes audibility out of the equation all together, and bases the duration of flattus on butthole expansion and contraction
an anal callipar, if you will
iper
Williams, Ben 1:22 PM
so if you pucker up, then you get a higher pitch. There is also a technique where you can let a little out at a time, and i believe that by doing this, you're letting the little bastard brew longer and thus more dense
Williams, Ben 1:28 PM
i think audibility is determined by the willingness of the body. Suppressing the sound in effort to achieve secrecy will greatly increase the odor levels.
..where as the same fart that was cause to evacuate the room once had the possibility to be just a barking spider and a few giggles and funny looks, but no odorous embarrassment
Lewis, Jon 1:30 PM
hmm
i think odor is predetirmined prior to reatching the point of no return. i think it has to do with what you ate.
Cunningham, Sean 1:36 PM
are you suggesting variations of ammunition?
Williams, Ben 1:36 PM
damn. good argument. so then that causes me to believe that duration and noise are the only things that the operator has the ability to manipulate since they are inversely related
Horsley, Mark 1:37 PM
but both can be controled by the amount of push, right?
Williams, Ben 1:38 PM
Right. Force behind the fart. But i strongly believe that its predetermined before its in the chamber.
afterward force can be added or suppressed
Horsley, Mark 1:38 PM
force as a modifier, gotchya
Cunningham, Sean 1:38 PM
idk about that, because some times when it is entering the chamber you are forced to understand that you will have no control over the push.
Horsley, Mark 1:39 PM
or pushing will lead to solid movement
Cunningham, Sean 1:39 PM
so i guess that could mean chamber compression is a factor as well.
Williams, Ben 1:39 PM
so lets say that what you're descrbibing is a warning shot.
Lewis, Jon 1:40 PM
yeah sometimes you can feel a real beefer that just occurs. the only control you have over it is holding it while you rush to a secluded area
Williams, Ben 1:40 PM
i'd like to treat warning shots as a different animal
Cunningham, Sean 1:43 PM
its almost like a psi gauge... you know when its gonna red line so you get away as fast as you lose control and it blows
Williams, Ben 1:47 PM
do you think that if you're trigger shy, then you are effectively loading your magazine? That would explain the added pressure... then again it could be possible that the introduction of new air ammo could result in either 1) nice, well-behaved single file order leading to one fart after another.. or 2) the joining of masses creating one large torpedo.
... either situation wouldn't be likely to control
Stay Regular
No comments:
Post a Comment